john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
