I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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