Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
