If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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