This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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