i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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