Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
