Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
