Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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