So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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