i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
