I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I CAN MOONWALK!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.