I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
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We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
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But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Blow job season was short but glorious.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.