If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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