Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
