did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
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bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
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I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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