Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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