so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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