dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
