the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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