Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
