First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
