I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
