apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize