I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
