Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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