Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
