Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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