y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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