i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
