oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Drunk is not a location!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize