Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
