Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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