I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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