So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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