We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
