Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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