and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
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can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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