"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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