So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
no, he came in my armpit
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Randomize
