Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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