We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
