So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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