There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
