I just pynch a tree in the face
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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