you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
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