Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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