im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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