Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
