so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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