Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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