can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
