That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize