why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
please come you make the beer taste better
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Is her dick bigger than yours?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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