you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
