some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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