My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
