At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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