Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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