fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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