wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
