I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
