Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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