He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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